it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
