I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i came on her dog
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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