This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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