Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
