Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
