IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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