Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
