He kissed a someone with a penis
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
