I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
