we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
