I cockslap morals
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My pussy is not your playground.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
