nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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