Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
