They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
