I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
