Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
