Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
