Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im holly from the hills drunk
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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