It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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