I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
