I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
