Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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