My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
