am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
