do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Blood and glitter go together right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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