This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
