I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
