I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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