I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
