I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
