in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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