my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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