the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
