sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
