So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
NoShamevember. You game?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
