it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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