Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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