Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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