Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
