here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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