My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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