So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
