I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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