Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
