so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
