I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
