Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
