my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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