i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
