The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
