Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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