I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
