driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
