been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
