Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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